The passing of Anthony Bourdain and Kate Spade happening at roughly the same time has reignited the conversation about the stigma of mental health, suicide, and the general way we approach healthcare in the United States.

Though any conversation on these subjects is extremely valuable, it’s important to remember to keep talking about it all the time, and not just when high-profile celebrities pass away. As a society, we need to do better for the people who are struggling.

One main motif throughout all of the talking has been encouraging people who are struggling to simply ask for help. Many variations of encouraging words are passed around, typed up in blogs and tweets, and made into headlines that constantly remind  people that it is okay to ask for help. That they are worth the trouble. That it’s no trouble at all.

And that advice is valuable. It’s important to spread that reminder constantly. It is something that people who are struggling need to hear — but it cannot be the only message we put out there. We cannot put all of the work on the people who are sick.

We need healthy people to step up as well, and step in when those who aren’t capable of asking for help are struggling. We need to be able to better recognize that struggle, take risks, and step in when we see the need for some compassion. 

When Sheila O’Malley tweeted about a situation that was exactly that, it quickly went viral, getting over 150,000 likes. Her message on the struggle of not being able to ask for help, and heartwarming story of how her friends stepped in anyway is touching. Composed in 18 tweets, the full story can be seen below.